He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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