Screwed.edu
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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