JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
