is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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