walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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