the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
