can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
