going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
