looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
