so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
