i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
