We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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