Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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