I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
