just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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