Dual....:-)
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
