I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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