just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
