he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
