i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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