Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
