I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
