i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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