she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
