No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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