I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
