sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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