Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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