"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
