so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
