It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
