don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
