What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
