4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
