i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we're so committed to being not committed
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