Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
