also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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