trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
