I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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