Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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