how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Less talking, more tequila
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
