We're facebook friends in real life
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
