good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
