yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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