I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
