I CAN MOONWALK!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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