I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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