I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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