3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
