I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
