You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
