Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
